At Home With Nicole

Whew,

Today has been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I haven’t sat down at this computer to write content in over a year. Life hasn’t been kind, and honestly, I haven’t been okay.

There’s a reason more women in their 30s and beyond are being diagnosed as autistic so late. Many of us got really good at masking. We learned how to push through, stay quiet, seem “fine,” and meet expectations, even when it was costing us more than anyone could see. For years, autistic girls and women have been overlooked or misdiagnosed because the signs often look different than the old stereotypes people expected.

For a lot of late-diagnosed women, burnout is the breaking point. Autistic burnout is more than everyday stress. It can look like deep exhaustion, anxiety, loss of skills, executive dysfunction, and a level of overwhelm that makes even basic tasks feel impossible.

That was true for me. After years of pushing through, I hit a point where running a business was no longer possible.

After a lot of rest, therapy, self-care, and (ongoing) work, I’m finally finding my way back.

In this post, I’m sharing what autistic burnout looked like for me, the problems it caused in my life and business, and how I’m rebuilding both one step at a time.

How I Ended Up in Autistic Burnout

In school, I was always the “gifted” student, especially in Language Arts and Music. I kept decent grades and even earned scholarships for choir and band. On paper, I was doing well.

But socially, things were different. I struggled to connect, and a lot of what came naturally to other people felt confusing or exhausting to me.

At home, I was the parentified child. I helped take care of my younger siblings, cooked, cleaned, and took on responsibilities that most kids don’t. At the same time, I was already dealing with intense anxiety and depression.

I was also working at least 30 hours a week in a fast-paced, highly social job as a drive-thru cashier at Wendy’s. That pattern of pushing myself past my limits didn’t just happen once. It became my normal.

In college, I was working toward my Bachelor’s in Music Education while working third shift as a waitress at Waffle House (iykyk). Then I found myself pregnant and single. So I did what I had always done. I pushed harder.

I picked up a second job at Lowe’s as a customer service manager. 

Years of Stress Later 

After moving out of my mom’s house, my depression got worse. I was working two jobs, caring for a newborn, and still helping support my siblings. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and barely holding everything together, but I kept going.

Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn’t get out of bed unless it was for work. My house was falling apart. I was barely taking care of my son, and I wasn’t taking care of myself at all.

But I still kept going.

Later, I met my now-husband. We moved out of state, and for the first time, I was able to stay home with my kids. From the outside, it looked like things should finally get easier.

But that sudden shift from constant overwork and survival mode to being home full-time is when everything caught up to me.

That’s when the burnout fully hit.

And even then… I still tried to push through.

What Autistic Burnout Looked Like for Me

If dissociation were a superpower, I would be Wonder Woman.

I was so exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed that I felt completely paralysed. The only thing I could really do was scroll through Facebook.

We ate out a lot because I didn’t have the energy to cook. The house was never really clean. There were always dishes in the sink or a pile of clothes waiting to be washed. Clean clothes lived on the couch, and the living room was covered in toys 24/7.

I spent most of my days lying on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep between changing diapers and switching Paw Patrol DVDs.

I had a lot of very dark thoughts. I won’t go into detail, but it was bad.

As time went on, things got worse. I stopped showering. I stopped cleaning. I was doing the bare minimum to get through the day for my kids.

At the same time, the lack of support from my husband started to build resentment in our relationship.

Eventually, everything reached a breaking point. We lost custody of our kids, and our marriage was on the brink of divorce.

In order to get our children back, DHR required both my husband and me to undergo psychological evaluations. After mine, I was diagnosed with CPTSD and referred to therapy. The psychologist also noted that I showed signs of autism and recommended further evaluation.

How I Am Overcoming Autistic Burnout

It took almost a year, but we were able to bring our children back home.

My husband’s therapy also helped him in many ways, and our relationship began to improve. He started helping more around the house and with the kids, and he showed real concern for my health and physical limitations.

But life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows just yet.

I had just started learning how to regulate myself, and suddenly I was trying to help two neurodivergent kids learn how to regulate themselves, too.

So I went back to therapy and worked hard to build emotional regulation skills and systems that actually worked for our family.

I researched ADHD and autism, and I worked with a therapist who specialised in neurodivergent parenting. We also got our kids involved in behaviour therapy, and I learned a lot from their sessions as well.

Over time, we found a rhythm that worked for us.

And once things started to stabilise at home, I finally had the capacity to start thinking about work again.

Getting My Life Back 

After everything we had been through, I knew I couldn’t go back to working the same way I had before.

I’ve spent the last several months relearning essential skills, improving my writing, and catching up on current trends in marketing and SEO.

I also designed a sustainable framework to keep myself going. And put together a content plan for the next six months, complete with weekly breakdowns to make managing my business a breeze.

Instead of pushing myself to do everything at once, I’m building systems and routines that I can actually sustain. I’m focusing on consistency over intensity, and on creating a business that works with my life instead of against it.

Let’s Do This Together 

In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing how I’m rebuilding my routines, creating consistent income from home, and designing a business that actually works for my life.

If you’re navigating burnout, rebuilding your life, or trying to create income from home without burning out again, you’re not alone.

I’m documenting everything as I rebuild my business step by step. If that’s something you need too, follow along and be part of this journey with me. 

Don’t forget to drink your water and take your meds. See you next time!